Drunk Boat

Drunk Boat illustration by Mary Brown

Drunk Boat illustration by Mary Brown

No, no, nononononono. I’m ok. Find. Fine.

Excuse me, but I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you. I mean, come on, I was made for this. I’m a FREAKIN’ BOAT!

Shhhhh! Sorry, shhh. I’ll ‘shhhh’.

I’m not drunk – you’re drunk! Drunky drunk drunkdrunkdrunk. What? YOU don’t make sense! 

Look, I’m a boat. My job is to take on water. You’re just jealous you can’t take on as much as me.

It’s not an emergency! I take on water all the time. It doesn’t affect me. My dad once took on so much water they thought he was for sure a gonner. Nope! He was just a badass.

Can I tell you something? You’re pretty. No? Ok.

You wanna know something? Everyone likes me cause I’m the “party boat”.

But, honestly, as much as I love the company, I don’t like the extra weight, and someone always throws up on me.

It’s just, this is all I know how to do. Sorry, am I too close to your face? I’ve been told I’m a ‘close-talker’.

I hear they’re gonna start driving me with robots soon. GPS or some shit. No more people.

No more people?

Guess I better get used to these solo trips. Hey, can you pass me that beer?

What to Know

This article from the Wall Street Journal made my mind wander and inspired this post.

Mary Brown’s art makes me smile. She’s insanely talented and I love her sense of humor. I needed a picture for this post and she improvised this gem. Check her out!

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